Satanic Panic


Director: Chelsea Stardust
Writers: Grady Hendrix and Ted Geoghegan

Starring: Rebecca Romijn, Arden Myrin, Hayley Griffith, Ruby Modine, AJ Bowen, Jordan Ladd, Jeff Daniel Phillips, Jerry O’Connell, Hannah Stocking, Whitney Moore, Michael Polish, Skeeta Jenkins

Release Date: May 31, 2019


An ultra wealthy suburban coven of witches and warlocks gather in sacrifice of a virgin, hoping to raise Baphomet (a deity that the Knights Templar were accused of worshipping) from the depths of hell and bring him back to earth in Chelsea Stardust’s cult-worthy epic tale of mayhem Satanic Panic.

When the moment arrives and the spell does not work, disappointment abounds and it is soon discovered, the coven queen’s own disobedient son has spoiled the moment as he has been hooking up with the sacrificial virgin.

As antics of the conundrum play out, a newly hired pizza delivery driver Sam (Hayley Griffith) shows up at the estate to deliver pizza. After being stiffed for a tip, Sam demands monetary compensation or at the very least an explanation as to why she was stiffed, which (somehow) alerts a very savvy guest that Sam just might be a virign.

Satanic Panic piles on the comedy and delves into satire with the most minute detail. No one is spared as the movie examines the differences amongst the wealthy and the poor.

Perfectly cast as Danica Ross and Gypsy Neumieir; Rebecca Romijn and Arden Myrin elevate the film’s homage to the 1980’s classic B horror movies, and especially reminisce the likes of controversial gem, Society.

Also perfectly cast is 1990’s sweetheart and Wilder actor, Jerry O’Connell’s as Samuel Ross, husband to coven leader Danica Ross who has relinquished all hope at life so instead he drunkenly awaits death so that his fat may be turned into wax for a new candle line. The comedy is dark and it works brilliantly with this kind of horror.

Satanic Panic accomplishes what it sets out to do. It is meant to be camp and controversial as it rips apart the class system through both the eyes of horror and comedy. Horror fans, 80’s movie fans and camp fans alike will all get a kick out of this film.

So order a pizza and enjoy the ridiculousness!


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